The basic law of right human behavior is self-reform… Whenever any trouble occurs with our friends and dear ones, we must look inwardly. Lay the blame on ourselves for getting into a unpleasant situation and then try to get out of it as fast and graciously as you can. It is fruitless to increase the trouble loudly, unkindly, discourteously blaming others, even though we find them to blame. We can teach quick-tempered dear ones to mend their faults a hundred times better by setting a good example than we can by harsh or self-righteous words. When someone speaks to you in hurtful language, remind silent and say “I am sorry if I have hurt you or offended you”. Then remind silent, I know this is difficult to do, the only thing you can do is try and try over again until your mind is re-trained to act differently. Sometimes even trying might not be enough because other’s actions can truly trigger you to lose your composure, knowing you at least tried is better than never trying.
A true divine person conquers wrath with calmness, keeping silent, dispelling chaos and not being hurtful to others. There is no more liberating action than sincerely giving kindness in return for unkindness. Christ left us a huge message in humanity by praying after being crucified “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. Christ governed chaos with love and peace, which is one of the most difficult tasks to do as a human being.
The biggest lesson for anyone who acts unkindly, attacks harshly, criticizes and judges other as if they were above all is: If you want to be loved, start by loving others who need your love. If you want others to sympathize with you, start showing sympathy to those around you, specially the people who love you. If you want to be treated good, respected, loved, you must be the first person to act that way to others. Then you will find others treating you in that manner. You must also stop bringing negative experiences from the past and use them again, that will never create healing. You must be able to forgive, not fall again in the hole of past hurts. Just remember that past hurts are not bad, they are life lessons to be learned, and if you failed at learning them you must re-live them until you can act differently your karma will change. Keep in mind your words must be courteous, kind, genuine, even in moments of difficulty and stress, destroy your demons by feeding them love.